Ways to Cope

How much does it suck that the one you turn to when your upset, sad, depressed, lonely, and just plain feeling like crap, is no longer around to help make you feel better when it's the loss of them that is making you feel that way to begin with??? I don't know if that makes any sense but the gist of it is that Buddy was always there to make things better. My magic healer. He's the one I craved to curl up against whenever I was feeling down. The whole situation is worsened by the fact that he's no longer here to help get me through his loss. Crazy thinking huh?

This is what Buddy looked like every time I left Mom and Dad's to come back to VA. It's how I'm feeling right now without my best friend.

Thank you to all of you who dropped by this blog to leave me notes of condolences. I plan on reading all of your blogs and either leaving a message or responding though an email. But every time I try, I'm getting all choked up and can't seem to express anything but uncontrollable sobbing. It's good to know that good knitters and good dog people are out there supporting you.

I'm finding ways to cope for now, but I'm worried about the second wave that's sure to hit when I go home on Wednesday. It won't be the same without him coming out to meet me and scratch up the doors of my car until I let him in and we go for a ride. He'll be in all of our thoughts as we gather to acknowledge all we are thankful for. I'm so lucky to have had him by my side for so many years. (Head over to barknknit to tell her what you're thankful for this year.)

One thing I've done to prepare for going home was to purchase a stepping stone kit that Dad and I are going to use to create our version of a head stone. It will be a nice project for the two of us to do together. I just kind of wish that I was able to get one last print. It will be sad and hard to do, but hopefully Dad and I will hold each other up through this. I know Dad's not taking it very well. Not well at all.

In other news, Honey's best friend and his wife are now pregnant. The end of one and the beginning of another I guess. So I've spent some mindless time this week making these. They're sweet critters on washcloths. They're quite numbing work, easy and mostly thoughtless. There's a yellow duck, a green frog, a blue bird, and a pink butterfly.

Last night Honey hosted a poker tournament at the house and Sarah came to keep me company. We ate, drank, knit, and held the pot money. It was a fun night and it was good to meet some of Honey's co-workers for the project he's on. They're a good group of guys.

Also yesterday, when I got home there was a package waiting for me. This one from my Orange Color Swap partner, Sonya.I know the lighting is bad in this photo but I felt the need to take the pic before the guys arrived. There are so many wonders of orange goodness packed in there! I think my favorite is the small project bag. I've been wanting one to carry my sock projects with me. There was also a delicious pumpkin candle, some orange chocolate, orange gum, orange mints, an array of orange beads and buttons, a lovely orange scarf, an orange coaster that smells yummy, a notebook to keep track of my thoughts, and a skein of Rio in some fun colors. I'm thinking of making something for Honey's 2 1/2 year old niece for Christmas with it. I know she'll love the colors!

This morning, Honey has left to go work on the house and I'm taking it easy. Curled up on the couch with a sad movie. Seems to fit my mood. Maybe later today I'll wonder out and do a little Christmas shopping.