I came across this notebook the other day and realized that it makes a statement that my heart has been trying for. Some of my friends have told me in the past that I'm just too nice to people. That I'm too giving without getting much or anything in return. Isn't that what most women do? I guess that I'm just hoping that if I put out enough kindness that someone will find that they can love me. I was wrong with Honey. And now my skin is a little thicker and my heart still a little scared. But I still have hope for love. Right now I'm working on getting back to scattering that kindness because it makes me happy. And what better way to get back on the wagon than to make yourself happy. But this time I'm going to make sure that I include myself in the group of that I scatter that kindness to. I want to be nicer to myself as I'm reinventing who I am without Honey.
In an act to scatter kindness I sent out three packages last week. One to Ann's subliminal healing project (with hats that Sarah mostly knit but whatever). One to my KCiSDE pal. And one to my SP12 pal. I hope that they all enjoy the kindness (and love) that went into each package. It certainly felt good to put them together. I felt like a piece of me was rejuvenated with each item I chose to include.
Already some kindness and love has come back my way. The other day I received a package from my SP12 pal. She sent a great little package with some very cheerful items. Tofutsies in a bright cheery limited edition colorway. A fabulous book about strength, friendship, and knitting that I've already started reading. Some Soak to make the Tofutsies smell fresher. And a spring notepad that symbolizes for me the growth and new beginnings I'm going through. Thank you secret pal! Your package hit the spot!